2019

January

Rivers dying, Stone caught lying,

Behrouz wins a prize,

Honoured divers, royal drivers,

Trump serves burgers, shakes and fries.

February

Banks reported, smugglers thwarted,

Bishop chucks it in,

Gobbo outed, treaties flouted,

Pell’s defence goes in the bin.

March

Christchurch grieving, C. Pyne leaving,

Mueller has his day,

Tayla’s leggy, Anning’s eggy,

Ashby courts the NRA.

April

Burning belfries, black hole selfies,

Hong Kong frays begin,

Bombed Sri Lanka, Izzy’s rancour

Julian Assange brought in.

May

Scott elected, Bill rejected,

Archie born to Megs,

Hawke and Day go on their way,

Theresa May runs out of legs.

June

Aunty raided, suff’rers aided,

Barty’s number one,

Murder charges, crashing barges,

Trump breaks bread with Kim Jong-un.

July

Mack’s defiance, stem-cell science,

Margaret Fulton dies,

Beetles failing, Nippon whaling,

Robert Mueller testifies

August

High ‘flu death rate, Sydney milk crate,

Pell’s appeal denied

One colossal penguin fossil,

No-one knows how Epstein died

September

Bob Mugabe, Donald’s Sharpie,

Root’s Eleven trounced,

Climate chorus, naughty Boris,

Trump’s impeachment probe announced.

October

Truck of terror, Taylor’s “error”,

Aged care in the poo,

Horse abusers, girl space-cruisers,

No more climbing Uluru.

November

Widespread fires, Clive expires,

Andrew doesn’t sweat,

Bank malpractice, Cory’s cactus,

Huge Samoan measles threat.

December

White Isle blowing, Greedy going,

Penis fish are beached,

ScoMo legs it, Brits choose Brexit,

Donald Trump (at last) impeached.